Friday, January 09, 2009

So there I am

So there I am, in the middle of some SQL problem. Trying my best to solve it. But it seems to be getting the best of me, when I hear the most unusual noises. The first one sounds like a fire drill noise. Its alarming to me, and I stop working on my problem for a second to orient on the new noise. When, suddenly, it stops. So, back to my problem I go, but for some reason, I can't quite remember what the problem was. Now this is truly odd, as I often have little mental lapses, but not to this degree. Not even being able to remember the issue I was so intent upon only moments ago, seems wrong. At this moment, I realize there is another noise disturbing my calm. It's a dog barking. And not just once in a while, but an almost turrets style stream of canine cacophonies continually spewing forth from his clean mouth. Its almost a constant outcry. On and on he barks. Why won't he shut up?

It's about this time that I realize the SQL problem never really existed, except in the shadowy recesses of my own mind as it had been concocted from my dream state. The reason I must have been struggling with an unseen, undefined SQL problem must have been the result of my mind trying to interpret the inane caterwauling of the neighbors dog into something my dreamed encased brain could understand. Why not an unsolvable, unknown SQL problem?

In any event, I struggled to regain sleep, as almost anything would be a reprieve from the continual noise emitting from next door. But all my attempts were in vain, and I finally arose. As I stumbled around the darkened room, I was increasingly annoyed at the dog, and the loudness of his bewailing the cold while he awaited some human caretaker to let him back into the house. Apparently his only recourse was to attempt communication with the neighbors, as his warden was not giving him any attention or love at the moment, having imprisoned him in the cruel and cold outside world.

I tried to go on with my morning duties, but it was soon apparent that I was not the only one suffering from the boisterous neighbor. All of my family were now up, and the children where asking what was wrong with that dog. Actually it was me, acting like one of the children, begging the only other adult in our home to fix this thing, make it stop, I'm going crazy. So, my good wife picks up the phone, and calls the neighbor to let them know that their dog is trying to gain their attention for something, and could they please attend to its needs? As usual, the neighbor lets us know nicely that it's not their pet that is causing the boisterous commotion. This is the typical response, as their animals never make noise, never invade others property, never use the sandbox as a toilet, and so on.

After the phone call, I asked my wife what had transpired, and while she related the conversation, the dog barking ceased. That was it. No more. We were once again, inside our own home, with our own morning preparation noises to bother us. That, and the voices in my head taunting me with SQL problems I would soon face.

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